HU003 How to manage your family finances and not go broke

We talk about how to manage your family finances, split recurring bills and save up together for that big trip.

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Danielle
0:00:00–0:00:08
Do you want to learn how to effectively manage your family finances will tell you in this episode of Happily unmarried hi my name is Danielle.
Daniel
0:00:08–0:00:09
Hi my name is Daniel.
Danielle
0:00:09–0:00:14
And you're listening to the happily unmarried podcast a podcast about adulting and living your best life.
Daniel
0:00:14–0:00:20
And this episode will talk about how to manage your family finances split recurring bills and save up together for that.
Danielle
0:00:21–0:00:25
If you like our podcast please leave us a review on iTunes and don't forget to subscribe.
0:00:27–0:00:35
Okay so there are few ways that couples may choose to manage their finances so let's start by talking about some of the upsides and downsides of each of these when we consider
0:00:35–0:00:38
how we want to approach t-shirt finances
0:00:38–0:00:52
before we dive in we should briefly discuss income discrepancy since it will be coming up a few times and this discussion so when we say income discrepancy what we're referring to is when one partner makes significantly more money than the other
0:00:52–0:00:55
all right so that being said let's let's Dive Right In here so the first,
0:00:56–0:01:04
approach that they were going to discuss here when it comes to managing shared finances is what we all were going to call the fully merged
0:01:04–0:01:07
finances so what does that mean.
Daniel
0:01:08–0:01:20
To Plymouth finances are basically win both Partners contribute to a common pool of money and they share all their accounts and bank accounts credit cards,
0:01:20–0:01:25
all of them have both of their names on them so that they're fully shared essentially.
Danielle
0:01:25–0:01:39
So you're somebody up sides to this is that it's really easy to manage when you only have one bank account so all the money goes in one place and all the money comes out that same place.
Daniel
0:01:38–0:01:45
It makes it also very easy to track and select infant money out of money how much money do you have left and stuff like that.
Danielle
0:01:45–0:01:58
Clean out of the same account is thatthere's potential for scrutinizing the other you're one person scrutinizing the other for their purchases and questioning them on the things that they purchase.
Daniel
0:01:58–0:02:00
Right so if if I'm,
0:02:01–0:02:13
if we making different amounts of money and I'm putting a lot of money into the common account and you go and spend that on stuff that I don't think is very necessary that I could feel,
0:02:13–0:02:16
taking advantage of.
Danielle
0:02:17–0:02:19
When you're combining accounts.
0:02:20–0:02:30
You're not only pulling your money but you essentially have to your grandfathering in your partner's debt because by pulling our money together you know,
0:02:30–0:02:35
if I've got student loan debt will now that debt is being paid from the joining.
Daniel
0:02:35–0:02:42
Friend the common money is paying for whatever that stuff person already have coming into the relationship.
Danielle
0:02:43–0:02:55
So that's one approach the next one we're going to call one pot both couples get an allowance that almost sounds dirty.
Daniel
0:02:55–0:02:57
One part 2 allowances.
Danielle
0:02:57–0:03:03
So the idea what this one is that.
0:03:05–0:03:09
Both Partners pool all of their money into one account very similar
0:03:09–0:03:20
to the one that we just discussed that one account is again going to pay all of the the purchases with a common I should say purchase isn't and bills but in this instance,
0:03:21–0:03:24
both Partners receive an allowance.
Daniel
0:03:24–0:03:36
And to be clear salons is for personal expenses so things that are not for the family so if I want to by myself,
0:03:37–0:03:44
a new computer fucks Apple to play my video games on by that would be something that I would have to pay for my own alone.
Danielle
0:03:44–0:03:54
So when I think of The Upside is that it is a more fair distribution of,
0:03:55–0:04:10
spending money I guess and however you the however you would choose to distribute that money is really up to you as a couple whether you want to do that 50/50 or proportionally based on salary it's meant to be,
0:04:10–0:04:11
morphe.
Daniel
0:04:11–0:04:21
Also gives a certain degree of privacy what you're spending your money for so your partner.
0:04:22–0:04:23
Do it assumed that.
0:04:24–0:04:35
Partners half their separate bank accounts for those allowances that the balance of being confident and then at that point it's it's my business what I do with my part of the mountains.
Danielle
0:04:35–0:04:40
So that that's that removes that scrutiny part or piece from from the.
Daniel
0:04:42–0:04:57
Essentially in a lot of ways the one pot with allowances the same approach as before except for that it asked the lounge specifically to address some of the problems of the of the previous one.
Danielle
0:04:57–0:05:05
Right as far as downsides though speaking of farewell what it what really is fair,
0:05:05–0:05:17
right so when it could potentially be a point of contention in the relationship if again we've got this income discrepancy one person make significantly more and they feel that you know,
0:05:17–0:05:25
they should it said it's not fair that they aren't basically having control of all of the money that they save.
Daniel
0:05:25–0:05:36
Brent or the other way around that the person that is making class of contributing less feels like they should get an equal amount if they don't so,
0:05:37–0:05:49
I think the important thing here is that both Partners need to agree on what this allowance with look like in the scenario and they need to do so happily.
0:05:49–0:05:58
To prevent anyconventional opportunities for arguments later.
0:05:58–0:06:04
So I think a somewhat reduced version of this of one pot is having a,
0:06:04–0:06:12
a shared account for medical expenses so both parties with Romaine.
0:06:13–0:06:19
In full control of their financial assets and accounts so far,
0:06:20–0:06:25
a new account is being introduced to which both parties contribute,
0:06:25–0:06:32
money and exact amount that the eighties after my own. They contribute as well as,
0:06:32–0:06:46
they contribute to an equal amount or in some form of racial that's like open for discussion but the thing is that the money in that account is then being used for recurring expenses and,
0:06:47–0:06:57
what exactly those expenses ours also open for discussion, next samples could be groceries utility bills,
0:06:58–0:07:07
rent mortgage couple sitting to agree on on what exactly falls on his head and how much they want to contribute obesity,
0:07:08–0:07:15
the contribution amount needs to be sufficient to cover those expenses so if you have like a bunch of,
0:07:16–0:07:31
utility bills that you pay from this account every month if 1 months of a couple months maybe in the winter or something or in the In the Heat of the summer some utility bill something to go up and exceed them out of the country with you need to ask him about the buffer to deal with that.
Danielle
0:07:32–0:07:43
Right and I'm going to go out on a limb here I really think that this probably is the most popular way at least from people that I know couples choose to,
0:07:43–0:07:48
to organize our finances it provides a little provides that,
0:07:48–0:08:01
do your you're responsible for your own account and you're not being scrutinized what you spend your money on as long as you're taking the amount of money that you need to and putting it into that shared account so that bills can get paid,
0:08:02–0:08:08
what are the things that you didn't address will two things really so I think another upside is that,
0:08:08–0:08:15
this is where are before I said you have to grandfather in someone's debt in a case like this,
0:08:16–0:08:19
after the pool has been paid then.
0:08:21–0:08:29
You're responsible for your additional debt so credit card bills are for phone bills areschool loans,
0:08:29–0:08:38
that might alsoand then the other point was to make as far as kind of maybe a downside is,
0:08:38–0:08:48
while it's great that were accounting for those going to regular reoccurring purchases like rent and utilities but that we also have other shared expenses that you know couples also have others
0:08:48–0:08:55
that they have to think about like going on vacation or new purchases for the home and where that really falls into,
0:08:55–0:09:04
does I go into the pool does I get paid outside of the pool there's a little bit there's more questions that need to be answered cuz this doesn't actually cover every single expense a couple has.
Daniel
0:09:06–0:09:15
Always depends on what the couple of grease on what they want to cover with that from from from the poolanother option.
0:09:16–0:09:25
Has to have fully separate accounts but then split the bills for example you pay electricity,
0:09:26–0:09:31
I pay garbage.
Danielle
0:09:29–0:09:32
Natomas.
Daniel
0:09:31–0:09:39
And you pay for Netflix and I and I pay you back.
Danielle
0:09:37–0:09:40
Pay rent.
Daniel
0:09:40–0:09:46
Or literally every bill you you split in half and you.
Danielle
0:09:46–0:09:52
Use an app like splitwise or something to then just paid your partner for your half.
Daniel
0:09:53–0:09:58
What was outside of they say is if you if you don't trust your partner this is like this is.
Danielle
0:09:57–0:10:01
Best options.
Daniel
0:09:59–0:10:07
The safest option you can literally ask him to show them the bill to make sure that they're not ripping you off.
Danielle
0:10:08–0:10:21
I think this can also be helpful if you do have a pretty significant income discrepancy or maybe one person makes twice two or three times as much money as the other and they really want to live in a more expensive,
0:10:21–0:10:22
home that,
0:10:22–0:10:36
their partner can't necessarily afford so there's times where the the split is convenient for that where the person who makes more money says okay well I'll pay rent and then you you can cover the utilities.
Daniel
0:10:37–0:10:43
One drawback of this approach however could be that can be that,
0:10:44–0:10:49
if whatever way you split the bills if any of the bills is not,
0:10:50–0:11:01
stabilizing it's luxurious or sometimes goes up but sometimes down or do you have a rent increase right or you buy it and fancy new TV. Request for significantly more power,
0:11:01–0:11:08
electricity bill goes up or something like that you could end up with an imbalanced.
0:11:10–0:11:18
Distribution of bills and I don't even it could be hard in the beginning to find a split for the bills that actually works right.
Danielle
0:11:18–0:11:27
Right and you think that it's you've agreed about that and then spills change and fluctuating all of a sudden it's no longer the same distribution that was.
0:11:28–0:11:29
Previously agreed,
0:11:30–0:11:42
the last one here single provider one person controls all the money providing the non provider with an L,
0:11:42–0:11:47
there are no good reasons for this I hate this one so much it really bothers me.
Daniel
0:11:48–0:11:53
This is basically an extreme version of the very first one in the very first one.
0:11:54–0:12:01
Both people contributing to a common pool and then an excuse for everything,
0:12:02–0:12:06
and this case however only one person contributes in the common pool,
0:12:07–0:12:14
and I think part of the reason we do not like this is,
0:12:14–0:12:23
obviously we believe that both Partners should contribute financially to to family but,
0:12:23–0:12:36
we don't like this because usually the person that is the Sole Provider it's also in control of all the money and with being in control of all the money this creates a significant power imbalance in a relationship,
0:12:37–0:12:45
in the worst-case right this could be used to.
0:12:45–0:12:48
Punisher RRM.
0:12:49–0:12:59
Have a question or something to say join the community discussion by following us on Twitter at unmarried media use hashtag hu003 to discuss this episode.
Danielle
0:13:00–0:13:05
Cutting somebody off from their money is one of the first signs of abuse,
0:13:05–0:13:16
so the fact that one partner has all the control and power in the decision-making and access to the money and cutting cutting off the other that's just.
0:13:18–0:13:23
I'm really Step Up slippery slope when it comes to what they can do and.
Daniel
0:13:23–0:13:31
And of course you trust your partner right and they would they would never abused their position of power but the fact.
0:13:33–0:13:47
They don't need to abuse this position of power of 4 for the stand Namek to implicitly to exist and so percussion people I think from from choosing this approach.
Danielle
0:13:46–0:13:53
Yeah and I mean just also with you know honestly the trends are changing but back when you know
0:13:53–0:14:01
50s men were working in the women were staying home there and this kind of idea of a traditional marriage.
0:14:02–0:14:08
That leaves less Security in for this example for the for the wife or the woman
0:14:08–0:14:21
because she isn't working she might be out of work for a really long time so if the relationship breaks up she now has to go back into the work for she doesn't know what she's valued at and it's and she may or may not have access to any money from her partner.
0:14:24–0:14:32
Okay so now that we've outlined a few ways to manage family finances let's talk a little bit about how we met,
0:14:32–0:14:36
we should probably start by,
0:14:36–0:14:43
talking about where we were financially when we first met and before we moved in with each other and what challenges we faced.
0:14:45–0:14:55
So when you and I met I was a single mother I had a my own apartment it was questionable but
0:14:55–0:15:02
it was my own and my was working full-time and my daughter was in daycare full time
0:15:01–0:15:19
so I was stretched very thin I was getting some outside help I was living paycheck-to-paycheck I was not saving any money and I had recently inherited a whole bunch of debt from my ex-husband as part of the divorce.
0:15:20–0:15:23
Yeah I'm living my best life.
Daniel
0:15:23–0:15:35
I don't give a hand I was living with roommates I did not have any debt I did not have any children to care for,
0:15:35–0:15:42
and thankfully I was able to to save money.
Danielle
0:15:43–0:15:45
You also me twice as much money as I did.
0:15:48–0:15:54
That was at the very beginning of my careerso when we decided to move in together,
0:15:55–0:16:05
and we were trying to figure out the best way to organize our finances in a way that we felt was fair and you had an equal distribution of power,
0:16:06–0:16:08
thought that we had it figured out,
0:16:08–0:16:19
until we ran into some issues so what I mean by that is we were going to go with the option where we keep separate accounts and we have one joint account that we used to pay for,
0:16:19–0:16:26
household expenses that we agreed upon so we're going to pay our rent or utilities our groceries all from this account,
0:16:26–0:16:35
everything else we had said we would owe and I should mention that account was going to be contributed to buy each of us,
0:16:35–0:16:45
now what I quickly realized when we were planning on moving in together we were talking about buying furniture and and things are the house that.
0:16:46–0:16:55
You you are excited because you are no longer living with roommates and you wanted to buy nice sticks Iat that point in my life,
0:16:55–0:17:00
was very intimidated by money I had a lot of anxiety about money I still do,
0:17:01–0:17:15
not as much so this immediately started to freak me out because I realized will there's no way that I'm going to be able to afford 50% of all of these nice things that we want to to buy together to build a home.
Daniel
0:17:16–0:17:24
So what we did in response to that we talked about this we had a couple of long discussions about,
0:17:24–0:17:33
how you feel about this and what this what is does for you and your situation and so we decided on was that,
0:17:33–0:17:42
we would establish another chat account where we would not contribute in equal amounts but adjusted based on income,
0:17:43–0:17:47
and anyany.
Danielle
0:17:47–0:17:48
Luxury expense.
Daniel
0:17:48–0:17:51
Luxury expenses like,
0:17:51–0:18:04
going on vacation or buying fancy new furniture we will pay out of that account after another thing that we did though was we also.
0:18:05–0:18:09
Change the amount that we pay that would contribute to rent to.
Danielle
0:18:09–0:18:19
Right that we didn't do until after we had been living together for for a while I think we'll meet when we initially moved in we and after,
0:18:20–0:18:31
plenty of discussions we decided that we were going to have two shared accounts One account we will contribute to equally to pay for household expenses recurring expenses I should say and,
0:18:32–0:18:33
one that way.
Daniel
0:18:34–0:18:41
Just to be clear some examples here our groceries utility bills I think those are.
0:18:43–0:18:44
What time.
Danielle
0:18:44–0:18:48
At the time that those are the three and then we opened up another shared account,
0:18:48–0:19:01
that we contributed to proportionally based on our income and we use that account to buy nice things and go on vacation and anything else that we kind of deemed more of a luxury.
0:19:03–0:19:16
And that worked for a little while until again I get I was I was trying to pay off my student debt I was realizing that you're my spending money what I had left over just really wasn't comparable to what you had
0:19:16–0:19:19
and I was feeling frustrated cuz I felt like,
0:19:20–0:19:33
I was doing much better financially but I still was living paycheck-to-paycheck and I wasn't actually I think that's actually what bothered me the most was that I felt like I wasn't able to contribute to my savings to my retirement,
0:19:33–0:19:41
the rate that I wanted to write so that's I think when you offer to adjust how we were paying rent at that time.
Daniel
0:19:42–0:19:48
And it's not exactly proportional to income anything I think we just we just made up the numbers.
Danielle
0:19:48–0:19:56
So what we did. I think I was able to I felt like I wasn't good place I was able to contribute ways I wanted to,
0:19:57–0:20:07
and I think for both of us we we felt like things the the power dynamic between the two of us felt so I'm worried.
Daniel
0:20:08–0:20:13
One thing of which notes are mentioned I think is that.
0:20:14–0:20:19
Both accounts de require regular maintenance,
0:20:19–0:20:32
so far the adjusted account whenever any of us gets a pay raise or any other factors change in this equation we need to recalculate how much,
0:20:32–0:20:39
each of us contributes into the account and also if we want to change the total amount that we want to contribute.
Danielle
0:20:41–0:20:42
Make sure that works for.
Daniel
0:20:42–0:20:43
Yes we need to make sure.
Danielle
0:20:43–0:20:51
If I just decide oh I'm going to start putting three times as much into this account cuz I can afford it.
Daniel
0:20:49–0:21:03
If you like if you say I'm going to give it $100 more per month then I might not be able to actually match that because I have to your you $100 collect my $300 or whatever,
0:21:03–0:21:18
that works well that's I don't have any problem with that actually for the equal contribution account for the day. One it's a little more complicated we asked me recently had to increase our contributions twice,
0:21:19–0:21:21
a week 2 from each other or.
Danielle
0:21:20–0:21:26
I was on maternity leave and I was doing a lot of cooking so I think our groceries.
Daniel
0:21:26–0:21:27
A grocery expenses.
Danielle
0:21:27–0:21:31
Significantly because I was bored and cooking was the only things.
Daniel
0:21:30–0:21:39
And we we have relatively recently just moved into a new house so some of our utility bills have changed.
Danielle
0:21:39–0:21:40
Did you need a gun up a bit.
Daniel
0:21:40–0:21:48
So we we we are accounted for that by increasing the contribution amount into that account.
Danielle
0:21:48–0:21:58
Another thing that we mentioned before and I think we'll probably end up doing a whole separate episode on this is we purchased a house together last year and we,
0:21:58–0:22:12
wanted to make sure that our approach to buying the house also fit with kind of our philosophy and making sure that both Partners felt equal and one of them less specifically wasn't feeling stretched,
0:22:12–0:22:14
too far.
Daniel
0:22:14–0:22:25
I think the basic philosophy was a we wanted to be tenants-in-common the house or each of us with own a proportion of the house in the end,
0:22:25–0:22:32
and the goal was that we both with contribute to the expenses for the house,
0:22:33–0:22:36
erator is equal to or ownership,
0:22:36–0:22:49
totally owned the house 50/50 with both pay 50% of the interest for the mortgage 30% of the principal 50% of property taxes and 50%,
0:22:49–0:22:59
the down payment down payment and 50% of all the maintenance and an improvement expenses going forward.
Danielle
0:22:58–0:23:10
Right and so if I could not afford 50% because then I would have gotten pushed I mean if I could have afforded 50% but it would have stretch me again too thin I think two to make,
0:23:10–0:23:15
be comfortable so we decided to do what is it now.
Daniel
0:23:15–0:23:17
258.
Danielle
0:23:17–0:23:22
4258 right so we own the house 50% + 40.
Daniel
0:23:22–0:23:23
2258.
Danielle
0:23:23–0:23:26
3258 at all of.
Daniel
0:23:26–0:23:29
5042 huling Seattle 8%.
Danielle
0:23:29–0:23:34
And then all of the expenses with the house we also split.
Daniel
0:23:34–0:23:39
So you only pay 42% of principal interest down payment,
0:23:39–0:23:41
and property tax.
Danielle
0:23:42–0:23:50
Okay so I think the last thing that we wanted to talk about is that we don't have any common savings or
0:23:50–0:23:59
non collateral. So our house is the only debt that we share we each maintain our own savings accounts our own retirement savings,
0:24:00–0:24:07
our own credit cardsall of that is as separate don't intend on combining that it.
Daniel
0:24:08–0:24:20
We we we we we we did talk about potentially establishing something come and saving specifically for college for your children.
Danielle
0:24:19–0:24:33
Right yeah we haven't quite figured that out yet maybe we'll talk about it down the line once we figure out how we're going to start saving for college I think initially we just were you know when the time comes we'll have enough in our.
Daniel
0:24:33–0:24:34
Physical retirement.
Danielle
0:24:34–0:24:42
And our retirement savings and it won't be too much of an impact it will just be able to pay for things there but
0:24:42–0:24:54
we don't Daniel I should make a really good point about this when we we we start talking and I think yeah we mentioned this in our last episode being that we are not married we have to talk a lot about what will happen if we break up,
0:24:54–0:25:03
so we had one of those discussions this afternoon actually where we said okay wellactually yes we will absolutely have the money for college but.
0:25:04–0:25:07
What if we break up and you,
0:25:07–0:25:18
there's no actual there's no money that we've actually put aside and to dedicate to college you might love the person you're with and think they are the best person in the world but.
0:25:20–0:25:33
They also can end up being the person that you hate most so we wanted to know as discussing that meant that we need to think about the insurance around saving for college so,
0:25:33–0:25:42
once we figured out maybe we'll talk about italright so lastly when we talk about what kind of tools we use to stay organized I might be helpful.
Daniel
0:25:42–0:25:45
Fred we use,
0:25:45–0:25:55
a couple of tools to manage your finances both in terms of keeping track of them for ourselves as well as reconciling the different.
0:25:56–0:26:06
Spell accounts that we have as well as mortgage and and and whatnot something really important at least for me I use that quite a lot as meant what you said,
0:26:07–0:26:22
application that you can add all your different accounts bank accounts credit cards mortgage accounts all that stuff you got it all into that application and then it's a single point where you can go and see what's what's going on with your fine until.
Danielle
0:26:21–0:26:25
That's where you find out just how much money you're spending on Amazon every month.
Daniel
0:26:24–0:26:37
Exactly Jonas next time and we'll discuss Tesla's and other TVs and what they can provide for your family to not miss that or any other episodes subscribe to a podcast on iTunes or wherever else you listen to.
Danielle
0:26:37–0:26:50
So we also when it comes to the joint accounts we thought it made the most sense to utilize online banking accounts so we chose a lie as an online-only Bank,
0:26:51–0:26:55
setting up the accounts was relatively easy to do.
Daniel
0:26:54–0:27:07
Yeah the the joint account are a little bit more complicated because you actually need to fill out a paper form and send it in but once you've done that yeah it becomes trivial to add additional account.
Danielle
0:27:07–0:27:21
And so that way we can easily everything is online we we set up automatic we have automatic payments from our pay stubs and bank accounts and it's easier to transfer money back and forth. We don't get charged any,
0:27:21–0:27:24
he's if we need to take money out of the ATM.
Daniel
0:27:25–0:27:30
And that's some of the side note but the allies.
0:27:31–0:27:39
Savings accounts have really good interest rates for savings,
0:27:39–0:27:48
so you basically have to join the counter until we just financed the fun that the right that we have agreed upon.
Danielle
0:27:47–0:27:49
Our personal accounts are at.
Daniel
0:27:49–0:27:54
Read one good thing about this as well as,
0:27:54–0:28:06
we have two debit cards or each of us has a debit card for each of the accounts so if we have need to make any purchases on one of these accounts,
0:28:06–0:28:08
we can just use the debit card for the.
Danielle
0:28:07–0:28:16
Right yeah so if I go to the grocery store I'll pull out the50/50 split account card and use that to pay for food.
Daniel
0:28:17–0:28:21
Well if we go buy some furniture we can use the address to split.
Danielle
0:28:21–0:28:28
That's great cuz we do most of our shopping online or so we can't do it all.
Daniel
0:28:28–0:28:32
Then we also just use,
0:28:33–0:28:46
old school Excel spreadsheets especially around on mortgage be used heavily in preparation when we were trying to figure out what,
0:28:47–0:28:53
how big of a mortgage can we afford how we can how can we split it and stuff will you be put together next to spec sheet that help,
0:28:54–0:29:07
calculate all that stuff and then we track all or expenses for the house in another Excel spreadsheet that we then once a year make sure.
Danielle
0:29:07–0:29:08
We go over it a couple times a year.
Daniel
0:29:08–0:29:17
But they want to make sure that we basically balance out according to a percentages cuz sometimes I will pay for,
0:29:17–0:29:27
a repair on improving it has to be to get done or you will pay for it and we'll just make sure that at the end of the year or at some other point,
0:29:27–0:29:32
we we balance out the expenses according to the proportions.
Danielle
0:29:32–0:29:47
It's amazing easy so I can see okay I owe you an additional $500 for something that we've done in the house that imma get paid and that way we can make sure that everything is sticking to our original agreement.
0:29:49–0:29:59
As far as payment apps go so the only thing that we don't pay for from our household expenses is our mortgage,
0:29:59–0:30:08
Daniel pays that directly from his bank account is that because that's the bank that you are our loan is from the bank that you Bank.
Daniel
0:30:08–0:30:14
I have my my my main bank account us and it's the same bank that has.
Danielle
0:30:14–0:30:22
So you pay that every month and then I just use Facebook payment to pay you I use Facebook,
0:30:22–0:30:30
over venmo because I always run into problems with them whenever I'm trying to send someone money or that's over
0:30:30–0:30:40
a certain amount yeah large amounts just don't agree with venmo and also when you do it through venmo they hold on to the money for a few days so.
Daniel
0:30:39–0:30:51
Right it doesn't go into your bank account immediately goes into your venmo account and then you have to retrieve it actively from their where's Facebook Messenger payment it it goes directly into your bank account.
Danielle
0:30:51–0:30:53
So you don't have to wait 3 days for.
Daniel
0:30:52–0:30:56
And then don't have to do anything on my end. Just the ends up in the night.
Danielle
0:30:56–0:31:01
So that's that's I think worked really well for us who actually is a co-payment quite a bit when we're sending money back and forth to each other.
Daniel
0:31:02–0:31:11
So we will use Amazon Fresh a lot for groceries and Amazon have to,
0:31:12–0:31:22
credit card which gives you basically 5% cash back for a purchase that you do on Amazon including Amazon Fresh,
0:31:23–0:31:37
so we could use our groceries debit card to pay for Amazon Fresh directly but we've been missing out on those on this 5% cash back so the Amazon credit card is in my name and I also use it for my personal purchases on Amazon,
0:31:37–0:31:46
but we also pay on Amazon Fresh orders after the credit card so what does,
0:31:47–0:31:54
but this creates a situation where there's two streams of.
0:31:55–0:31:58
Two different streams of,
0:31:59–0:32:10
expenses on this credit card. Need to be on time. At some point because my personal expenses I have to I have to pay for those and the grocery expenses on Amazon Fresh,
0:32:11–0:32:19
the equal split account has to pay for so what we do is we have credit,
0:32:20–0:32:27
a grocery budget based on how much we spend on groceries in the past and,
0:32:28–0:32:42
the the grocery account automatically pays this amount of money to the Amazon credit card every month I'm in a does that a couple of days before the payment is due on a credit card,
0:32:43–0:32:51
and then I said the credit card to debit the rest of the credit card payment from my account so I I basically,
0:32:52–0:32:56
I pay the rest of whatever is on the credit card so,
0:32:57–0:33:06
well for the most part this works pretty well the amount of groceries that we buy is not fixed so sometimes will spend more or less money someone so I actually have to go every couple of months,
0:33:07–0:33:16
and reconcile how much money the Eagles V cut has paid to the credit card and how much money we've actually spend on groceries on a credit card.
Danielle
0:33:16–0:33:17
Use mint for that.
Daniel
0:33:17–0:33:23
Yes I I just meant for that it works really well what I do is I,
0:33:24–0:33:31
basically I can very easily identify all the charges for the credit card from Amazon Fresh vs. other Amazon,
0:33:31–0:33:42
and can just some up how much money we spend on Amazon Fresh and can compare that to the amount of payments that came into the credit card from the equals for the count.
Danielle
0:33:42–0:33:51
And then we've got that 5% cash back which you tend to use back towards your groceries or other household.
Daniel
0:33:49–0:33:59
Yeah I actually I actually use it more for the other household expenses I need to buy a picture frame for something or.
Danielle
0:33:59–0:34:01
Tools for something.
Daniel
0:34:00–0:34:04
Tools are under the baby needs new diapers or something like that.
Danielle
0:34:05–0:34:17
Okay so wrapping it up what's the point of all this why did we decide to talk about finances on our third episode.
Daniel
0:34:15–0:34:18
I don't know who would do something crazy like that.
Danielle
0:34:19–0:34:28
And you know I think it we mentioned this a few times for us to that that balance of power super important andit really does set,
0:34:29–0:34:33
the foundation when it comes to just your relationship in General Tso.
0:34:34–0:34:43
You know one partner shouldn't feel like the other has more control over money or money making decisions.
0:34:44–0:34:53
I think it's not a surprise that Financial issues are one of the leading causes of divorce.
Daniel
0:34:54–0:34:55
That makes sense,
0:34:56–0:35:06
we all need money or to survive the we need our lives are not free of not cheap and,
0:35:07–0:35:15
and a lot of people are struggling with just paying for the regular expenses and then,
0:35:16–0:35:18
and end up in debt then whatever right.
Danielle
0:35:18–0:35:23
Try it it's it's funny that or it's not but you know,
0:35:24–0:35:28
Financial issues are one of the leading causes of divorce and it's also one topic that,
0:35:29–0:35:38
people are the most afraid to talk about and or don'tI think we know we've kind of got a running theme here that you need to talk,
0:35:38–0:35:48
do your partner and have open communication especially about things that require no decisions to be made otherwise.
0:35:49–0:35:51
You know you're going to end up in a situation where,
0:35:52–0:36:05
your you have there's a lot of contention and anxiety around something that you feel you have no control over of when really if you just talk to your partner and come to,
0:36:06–0:36:11
place of compromiser agreement or understanding.
Daniel
0:36:11–0:36:18
And even if I think this isthis report even if it is intimidating to do so.
Danielle
0:36:18–0:36:20
So intimidating,
0:36:20–0:36:22
used to have to,
0:36:23–0:36:32
Force Visa like we would have set times where it was like okay we're going to sit down now and talk about this because I was so,
0:36:32–0:36:38
intimidated by it it gave me so much anxiety to talk about it I didn't want to.
0:36:39–0:36:49
Look at Miami I knew I had a sense of my finances I knew that everything's been taken care of but I didn't want to look and get in deep with it.
Daniel
0:36:49–0:36:57
I remember when we were planning on buying the house together we're trying to figure out what you could actually at 4 and you were,
0:36:57–0:37:07
musicallys tiptoeing around just sitting down and creating a budget that they a current budget that would show you what your expenses on with your what Your earnings are,
0:37:07–0:37:10
took forever to come to the back seat.
Danielle
0:37:10–0:37:13
No I didn't want to cuz I was afraid of what I was going to say.
Daniel
0:37:13–0:37:25
I think we will probably have an episode in the future specifically about having hard conversations.
0:37:27–0:37:33
Both in your personal life as well as in the near business life.
Danielle
0:37:32–0:37:40
Let us know how you manage your family finances and how often you talk to your partner about money,
0:37:40–0:37:50
tell us on Twitter at unmarried media using the hashtag hu003 if you want to support us and our work please check out how to do so at happily unmarried. Media / 2,
0:37:51–0:37:54
and I'm Danielle and we're happily and.
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